They don’t owe you anything. Not sex, not a kiss, not a hug, not a second date, not even a smile. If the date goes well, you will get some or even all of those but if you try to force them, you will get nothing. Sure it can be disappointing if you put in a lot of effort and get nothing back but you will have to live with that. Sometimes people just aren’t compatible and sometimes a date just goes wrong because of a weird coincidence.

Be nice, even if the date doesn’t go as you wanted. Open communication goes a long way and chances are that the person you’re talking to is just as insecure as you are. Explain (not accuse) why you don’t think this situation will work out. If you’re lucky, you can turn the conversation around. If not, at least you’re ending the date in a civil way. That also (and especially) applies to talking on online dating platforms. Sometimes you can tell just from a conversation that things won’t go anywhere. Way too many people just drop the conversation and move on which can feel pretty rude. Be nice, explain what’s up, give them a friendly goodbye and then move on.

Those rules apply to both sides. You don’t owe them anything either, especially if they get rude. You should still try to be friendly in case there is a misunderstanding but try to get yourself out of an uncomfortable situation before it gets worse. Your safety is still priority number one.

Edit: some more

Don’t expect a relationship to last. Chances are it won’t. But this isn’t as pessimistic of a tip as you might expect. Even a single day of joy can be worth it if you manage your expectations. I’ve had a relationship crash and burn after seven years, I’ve had ones that lasted a couple of months and I’ve had someone ghost me after the second date. And still, all of them gave me amazing memories that I wouldn’t want to miss and they helped me grow as a person. Allow things to grow on their own and enjoy the process. Maybe you will marry that person. Maybe you’ll date them for a few months or years. Maybe you will never get past second base but stay platonic friends. Maybe you will spend the most amazing day of your life with them and then never see them again because you accidentally spilled something over their favorite t-shirt.

It will be easy once you find the right person to date.

Very few people are properly compatible with each other, and sure, good small talk skills and general “dating” abilities will keep you dating someone for longer - but why prolong the suffering if it didn’t already click naturally?

Don’t try to explain the fediverse

Shut the fuck up about the woes with your ex. You’re meant to move on and seek new people. Your ex should be old news, out of sight and out of mind. No new potential date should have to hear you crying about your bad marriage, about how things were once good between you and the other person. Because that’s you not letting go, regardless of what you’ve been through.

And if you keep droning on about your past relationships, you are chopping down what interest there is between you and the new person. That’s why you don’t get anyone new.

That the older you get, the easier it is to date if you’re in good shape and you know how to listen.

So don’t think it’s all over for you just because dating may be difficult right now.

When I was in my 20’s and 30’s, I was in decent shape, but pretty average looking. But at that age there are a LOT of people in decent shape who are above average looking. So lots of competition.

Hit my 40’s, still in pretty good shape. Hair is a mix of gray and dark. Suddenly 30-year old women are asking me out.

I haven’t changed my attitude. Haven’t changed my income. Haven’t changed my personality. Haven’t changed my location.

I’m in my 50’s now, and I get laid more than ever. I’m in an open relationship with my current GF. She just has to “approve” of the girls I date.

I 100 percent think that it’s because most people in my age-range are fat as fuck, and unhealthy.

Some women like older guys for stability (I’m not racing cars or going to bars every fucking night, I’m easy to reach, like to chill, etc), and since I’m in shape, I’m suddenly popular.

And I’m not even in THAT great of shape: https://sh.itjust.works/post/27861648

Yeah, I work out and stay lean, but when I’m wearing a shirt, you don’t look at me and go, “wow, that dude works out!” It’s really that I’m not overweight, so that sets me apart.

This isn’t a humble brag. I legit have a face like a foot: i.e. not that great looking, but functional.

It comes down to just that I’m not fat, have stability, own a house, and I’m not a serial killer. That’s fucking it.

So depending on your age, just hang in there. It gets easier.

And for more immediate tips: Listen, and know how to be comfortable with small talk. Also makes the rest of your social life easier too.