Context, I’m 30 now and i will find women my age and up attractive, but 15 years ago a 35 year old women would never have been attractive to me.

As I’ve aged younger women are less and less attractive (thankfully)

But when I’m 60 will 60 year old women be attractive to me?

    • blindsight@beehaw.org
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      1 year ago

      Alt text:

      The full analysis is of course much more complicated, but I can’t stay to talk about it because I have a date.

    • ForgetPrimacy@lemmygrad.ml
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      1 year ago

      Since turning 30 I’ve been thinking about the half-your-age-plus-seven rule a lot more. It would feel creepy as fuck to date a 22 year old. Is this all in my head? It feels predatory to swipe right on anyone younger than 25

      • Teal_Tiger@reddthat.com
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        1 year ago

        LOL

        You realize that that “rule” is based on absolutely nothing, right? It’s just arbitrary nonsense that people who are terrified of disorder impose on themselves because rules give them a pleasant secure feeling even when the rule ridiculous :-D

        ‘creepy’ is a feeling. and like all feelings it is entirely in the eye of the beholder. ‘predatory’ is stupid fear-mongering bullshit. Certain TV personalities made tons of money scaring the fuck out of parents, and they did it by using the vivid violent imagery of vacuous metaphors like ‘predator’

        People in their 20s are perfectly capable adults. They are not harmed by consensual sex with people older than them. There is not a shred of evidence that folks over 30 are somehow dangerous or have magic brainwashing powers that they use for evil :-D

        So, yes, it’s all in your head. Your culture has taught you to fear something that is 100% harmless on every level.

  • ∟⊔⊤∦∣≶@lemmy.nz
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    1 year ago

    It’s personal preference, but basically edge limits that increase over time, like at 15 you’re looking at ±6 months, at 20 it might be + or - 1 or 2 years. At 30 you’re probably at looking at 5 years either side of 30.

    Once you hit 500 the attraction window is so large it becomes mostly irrelevant, and you’re judging more on aristocrical lineage and/or aristocrical diet.

    It’s only a few more years til 1000 (which usually turns out to be a very dull party with no surprise guests) and by that point you’re lucky to find anyone attractive.

    There’s obviously the old ‘hurr durr he’s over 2000 so he must be gay now’ stereotype, but as far as I can tell, attraction isn’t cyclical.

    Hope that helps!

  • pickleprattle@midwest.social
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    1 year ago

    Being in my 40s, I am relieved to say that I keep finding women attractive that are my age, and I look at people in their 20s as, well, kids. Even in my porn, I keep looking for women more my age.

    That’s true physically, but also emotionally. There is a humbling nearly all decent people seem to go through in their late 20s to 30s that at this point is a necessary point of bonding for me.

  • HurlingDurling@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    There isn’t a limit, your tastes on what you consider “attractive” will change over time. When one is young one only thinks on reproduction, and the older one gets, the more prevalent just having someone who you enjoy keeping you company.

    • GarbageShoot [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      When one is young one only thinks on reproduction

      Depending on your definition of “young”, what it actually is is that young people mainly think of fucking.

        • GarbageShoot [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          1 year ago

          Speaking in terms of ultimate (evolutionary) causes, obviously, but on a proximate level of, for example, what the people in question actually think and feel, as well as the practical outcome given the accessibility of effective contraceptives, it has nearly nothing to do with reproduction.

  • Marin_Rider@aussie.zone
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    1 year ago

    its normal. my tastes have changed as I’ve aged. luckily my partner didn’t stay in her 20s either lol

  • olympicyes@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    When I was 15 I was really concerned that I’d always be attracted to 14 year old girls. I’m in my 40s now and 30 year olds look like babies to me.

  • TIN@feddit.uk
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    1 year ago

    I feel like there is a window that moves with you as you age. At 47 I find women attractive up to their early 50s, and down into their 30s.

    I mean dating attractive here. I’m not going to try and claim that a hot twenty something on the telly does nothing for me

    • Asafum@feddit.nl
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      1 year ago

      I was starting to question myself here lol everyone acting like a hot 20 year old is no longer hot when you’re older meanwhile I see someone I consider attractive they’re always attractive, I just won’t approach them if they’re young.

      The only way this doesn’t work is “upward” for me. 40s weren’t attractive when I was younger but they are now, but a hot 20 year old will always be hot to me (I think).

  • down daemon@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    just turned 40, i can def tell when someone in their 20s is hot, but I’d be really unlikely to date them. But, for example, meeting some rando at a bar and hooking up is different, as long as everyone is on board with the situation and consents. I’ve started finding older women attractive more than I would have when I was younger, it’s just hard to meet people at this age and covid wasted my late 30s doing nothing

  • Noel_Skum@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    Yeah. Don’t worry. Everything is gonna be irie. When you’re eighty there’s gonna be some sweet seventy six year old that’ll catch your eye. It’s how it is.

  • Jarix@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    At any age you are, there is a difference between the age you feel and the age your peers look to you.

    If you dont spend time around a variety of people you are unlikely to readjust your mental image of what the age you feel looks like.

    How many new people do you spend time with on a regular basis.

    How do you spend your time?

    When we are younger we are constantly put into a situation where you are surrounded by people your own age that you see every week multiple times(typically school and other group based hobbies like sports) but also people who are 1 to 5 years your junior and senior who you may not talk with much but they are still a part of what you encounter all the time.

    As you get older this environment shifts. Post highschool students start to see their classmates diversify in age. They are still your peers but age isnt no longer (as much) the defining factor of who you will engage with and work with, but its usually not suddenly all your classmates are now more than a few years older or younger than you.

    This starts to expand but also stunt your change in what your perceptionnof what you see around you and who you see as a reflection of what people your age look like.

    And those who dont continue education are typically just entering a workforce and now have a lot less people like them around them. Age at work places are much more varied, but its also different depending on the field you work in.

    Life starts to get weird in your 20s because its not the same as your experience of the people you see as your own age(among other things).

    But we also typically have stopped growing taller by this point. Which i think adds a lot.

    So when you as a 20 something now start getting to know people who could be or almost be your parents you have been trained to recognize age as a qualifier, and at 14 you probably should see age as a good indicator of people who are likely to be people you can relate to.

    Its easier to see differences than similarities. They jump out at you. Like boiling a frog you dont know that things are changing so you dont react the same way as if you are suddenly hit with it.

    Of course this isnt everyones experience, but it does happen enough that its worth giving some thought to.

  • taanegl@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    Physical attraction is a tingling of the spine. It’s basically relying on the animal in all of us. Not that it’s inherently a bad or good thing, it’s just a fact. I believe “young, dumb and full of cum” is the phrase, that or the misnomer: “you can’t fuck a great personality”, exclaimed by probably many a young boy who want to “spread their seed”. All of these terms speak to a time when hormones were raging and the cup filleth over, when self discipline needs to be taught so that the young minds don’t run amok.

    But the fact is, you can fuck a great personality. Emotional attraction, intellectual attraction, or even spiritual attraction, often gets overlooked - especially in the younger years. It’s something that becomes more important as your grown older.

    The act of physical intimacy however is exactly that, intimate. It’s a matter of trust, communication, a melding of minds and bodies, something that knows no age. Attraction can be based on several factors, physical attractiveness being only one of them, and can be the way you focus on cultivating your emotions to not prioritize physical attractiveness as much. This is hard in the world we live in, as beauty standards and vanity run rampant.

    After all this I’d have to say yes, your grandparents might be fucking - like right now. Give your grandad a cockblock call, and I think his fist might be attracted to your face. At least that never changes.

  • bubbalu [they/them]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    Eventually looks are going to be the least important component of attraction. It will continue to be about emotionality and familiarity. Young adults are going to feel less and less relatable and therefore less and less attractive.

  • Venus [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    All I know is that everybody says retirement homes are full of horny old people fucking all the time so maybe? Either that or old people just don’t care as much about attraction and are just happy all the parts still work

    My guess is as an adult you’ll always be attracted to women around the 25-35 range most but maybe once you get old you’ll also find some stuff to appreciate in grannies

  • nucleative@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    When I was a teenager, the people who are my age now seemed really old and because of that there was no attraction.

    Now when I see a grey hair, or a new wrinkle on my partner it’s the hottest thing. We connect with each other about real life, she knows me well and helps me center myself.

    I too hope that feeling continues to 60 years old and beyond, and I have a growing suspicion that it will so long as we both continue to work on staying healthy and attractive.

  • Dagwood222@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    Xaviera Hollander said that a man isn’t old until there are no women his own age he finds attractive.